You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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