if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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