First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
