he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
