she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
