Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
NoShamevember. You game?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
