So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
