physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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