Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
