My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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