forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Duck Duck Cougar?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
