i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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