awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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