So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize