dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
