just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
