You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
