He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish you could order shots online.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
