The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
