At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize