Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
