her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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