I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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