My nipple is on Facebook.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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