Someone shit on the floor
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
