Me too!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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