It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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