in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
its not stalking. its research.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
