I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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