fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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