That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
