I am puke
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
