This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
