Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
