i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize