I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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