Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
