Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.

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(404): View more from Georgia

NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR

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(661): View more from California

TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in

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(206): View more from Washington

why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes

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