I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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