it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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