ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
