I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
