I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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