apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
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I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
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I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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