He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
