is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
