yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
