so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it glows. i had to have it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
