I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
