I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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