Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
