I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
