He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
