the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize