I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I've blown a few things in my day
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
