i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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