I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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