no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
