This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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