I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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