You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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