R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Randomize
