Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
