I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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