we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I smell stomach acid.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
